its everywhere. pushing down on you from every possible angle. forcing you to crack. making you hurt every day, like you’ve gone through a battle, and lost. i hate pressure. sometimes i do well under it. at least i thought i did. until i look back on my life from a year ago. Every time i thought i could do something, i failed, and why? because i was pressured into doing it. Whether it was getting good grades, making the varsity volleyball team, having good friends, being a good friend, or staying out of trouble, even just being good at life. i failed at all of them. if there was ever a time that i wish i could go back and change things….it’s now. to just have the chance to go back to the end of freshman year, and try and fix all the things that went wrong. whoever says don’t regret anything, screw that. Because they probably are just as pathetic as i am, and just like me, are trying to make up an excuse for being a screw-up in life. because how can you not regret anything?? i regret almost everything that i have done in the last 2 years. and i can accept that i’ve screwed up. so what am i going to do…i wish i could change my ways, but i’m too far in, and there’s no going back. When i look back at my life 20 years from now, im still going to think, wow, why did i screw my life over because i just didnt have the will to go on? do i even have the will now, when i need it most. im hoping i do, but i have a feeling that i dont. because the world puts so much pressure on people like me…teenage girls. how bad does every girl out there feel about herself? and yet, the world keeps on pushing things at us. be beautiful, be skinny, be sexyy, be smart, give up everything you have to fit in with everyone else, who are really people just like you, giving in to the worlds conformity, trying to be like everyone else. the world and the people in it…suck.

well…i have something to say to the world.

pick on someone your own size, because i’m just one little girl on this huge earth struggling to get by every day, and i dont have the strength to take on the world.