so today was basically the……5th worst day of my life. no, i’d have to say it was worse than the time that i got a 1.7 on my report card, so make that the 4th worst day of my life. so, to start off small, i woke up late and had 20 minutes to be ready and out the door. then, i had to walk to school, at 6:10 in the morning. so by the time i got to school i looked like crap, and had about 6 people reassure that fact, basically asking if someone had died. well, now, yes, my pride. so today i had volleyball tryouts again, and to tell you the truth, i thought i was doing really well. we were supposed to have one more day of tryouts before they posted the list. and even though i had been  told i would be on JV, i somehow thought that i could prove that wasn’t what i deserved. but no. so out of 10 girls that were on JV last year, 2 quit, 7 made varsity, and 1, yes only one, made J.V. again. ME. and. i mean, if i sucked, i would get it, but i DON”T suck. and i know that with just a few weeks back into the game i’ll be almost even with everyone else, but they wouldn’t even give me a chance to prove myself. so know, when all of my friends, actually so-called friends(i’ll explain in a minute), are having fun on varsity, i’ll be stuck on JV as a junior. so, as i try to smile through my tears and congratulate everyone, i’m mentally falling apart. then i get texts and calls and comments about how i’ll be great on JV and not to worry about it. SERIOUSLY GUYS. do you honestly think that’s gunna make me feel better. no! it sucks hearing over and over agin, knowing i’m not good enough to be on a team with you.

so, about my friends, i basically just lost my two closest friends, because i can’t stand being around them and listening to them talk about varsity volleyball. but that’s only one of them. the other, not only is on varsity volleyball, but has just been being totally not herself, and, putting it nicely, been a pain in the butt. so, with all this going on, i have no friends to vent to about all my problems. 

so, now i’m stuck by myself, and this sucks.