does anyone ever feel like that? all scrambled up. because i feel like i have no idea where i’m going right now. so i thought i’d be making varsity volleyball this year…wrong. so now i don’t even know if i want to play. the guy i like still is in the same position. i want to hang out with him, but i feel like that would be really awkward. but he’s sooo….amazing.  and then i feel like all my best friends are running in opposite directions, and i know they all have their own lives, but for some reason it feels really personal. kacie’s drifting. hailey has all these new friends and she’s too busy to hang out.  kinley has her boyfriend and is really distant. and mackenzie just kinda does her own thing. we used to be really close, but now, i know we’re drifitng apart. oh, f.y.i….they’re the people on the top of my page in the picture. (it goes hailey, kinley, me, kacie, mack) anyways. i feel like i have noone to turn too. and its the end of the year, and my grades are crap. so basically i’ll be lucky to get into a J.C. when i should be going to like…dartmouth. FIDM at the least. and then, i really want to be an actress, and i know my mom thinks it was just my childhood dream, but it’s not. i realllllly want to do it. ergh. i’m just so confused. i feel like i need a couple days off just to think, but then if i do that, i’m losing time to do what i need to do. honestly….if i found a magic genie, i would wish to go back to seventh grade, and live my life back over again, just so i could do it better. i don’t even care about the other two freakin wishes. just give me one!!! im so lost.

but maybe i should try to look at one positive thing i’ve got to look forward to….choralistics cuts are posted on thursday, but i already know i nailed it(: whoopie. i can be in a choir for a living.

dazed and confused

channing